Romantic survey results
The Centre for Appearance Research (CAR), based at the University of the West of England, Bristol conducted a study exploring the experiences of developing romantic relationships from the perspective of young people with visible differences (Griffiths, Williamson & Rumsey, in preparation).
A visible difference is the visible effect of a skin condition, scar, burn, cleft or disfigurement.
40 young people, 22 males and 18 females (aged between 13 and 20) with a visible difference completed an online survey that explored their experiences of developing romantic relationships. The results revealed a number of common issues that they were concerned about. Young people felt social pressure to ‘look perfect’ and felt ‘in the real world appearances are important’. They were concerned that their visible difference made them less attractive to others. In some cases these concerns discouraged them from even contemplating the possibility of instigating relationships. When possible many concealed or camouflaged their visible difference and some avoided certain social activities (e.g.: swimming) or intimacy so that their boy/girl friend would not see it. They also worried about how and when to reveal their difference to their boy/girl friend.
However, others were not troubled by their visible difference and spoke of positive past or current relationships. Some felt many of their romantic concerns were not different to those of the average teenager and this helped to moderate their worries. Others described useful coping strategies to overcome appearance-related concerns. They felt that social support was important. Being able to talk openly to friends, family and boy/girl friends about their visible difference had helped them cope with their difference and most had received positive reassurance about their visible difference. These adolescents accepted that their difference was part of their identity and not something to be ashamed of. They boosted their self-esteem by focusing on other positive aspects of themselves such as their personality, intelligence, humour or kind nature and other interests such as sport or music. They felt that potential partners should like them for who they are, ‘it’s what’s in the inside that counts’, and felt ‘if boy/girl friends are too shallow to accept you for what you are and how you look, then they don’t deserve you’.
Young people told us that, if they needed it, they would rather receive online support for developing romantic relationships, from a young person with a visible difference or a psychologist/counsellor. They preferred online support because they could look up information and post questions anonymously, in their own time. Adolescents felt that young people with a visible difference would understand their experiences better than those without and older young people would be able to offer more relevant advice because they would have already ‘been through it’.
The findings from this study will inform the development of YP Face IT, an online support programme for young people who are finding it difficult to cope with their visible difference. If you would like to find out more about this project or any of the other projects that the Centre for Appearance Research (CAR) is developing, please contact CAR@uwe.ac.uk.
Article written and supplied by Centre for Appearance Research (CAR) based at the University of the West of Engliand, Bristol
Last Reviewed: 10 January 2011
Next Review Date: 10 January 2013
